Discretions

By BlkMasterV

Recently I had run into this topic head on. It’s something that I think everyone in the various lifestyles encounters, usually more than once. In fact, given enough time communication fails several times over the years.

It’s not that a relationship has gone bad, or that anyone is doing anything wrong. Everyone may very well be doing everything within the boundaries of that relationship. But because of a lack of communication, even the most innocent of acts will go badly.

I think there are a couple of reasons this happens. There is the case where the 2 partners have been together for so long that they assume things based on their knowledge of the other. This can be as simple as

“Well she knows that this woman is my type so she will know I am going to pursue her.”

Or

He knows that I can handle the quirts and flogger normally, but that I sprained my back a day ago so he shouldn’t use them on my back.”

These are innocent assumptions, but the results can be far from what we expect. As a Swinger lack of communication can cause jealousy, or feelings of rejection. In BDSM, it can cause severe injury or worse.

A lack of communication could be because one party does not want to embarrass another. Or because there could be a difference in expereince levels and communication is taken for granted. It could be an oversight.

No matter the reason, it can and will happen to you. It likely has in the past and will again in the future. Whether you are a newbie, or an old pro. And it may not have cause an issue, that time. But eventually it will.

The solution is to take the time to speak with your partner on a regular basis. To discuss the rules and boundaries before you play. To even speak about these things even when you just have an idea. And a critical part of that is to be clear.

I know of a friend that mentioned having drinks. But to one person that means out at a bar. To another it means dinner and drinks. To yet another it might mean out at a resturant or at home. The lack of clarification is the key here.

99% of the time it may not be a big deal. It may be something that is discussed more fully after the events have happened. But even 1% of the time it can lead to the unpleasant feelings that the Swinger and BDSM lifestyles are not about.

In the extreme there are other worries that lack of communication can bring. Such as having an up-to-date HIV and /or STD test. This is a big one.

I can’t tell you how many people I know in BDSM and Swinging that are unaware of their status for HIV or STD’s. It’s not that they are not careful in their partners, or that they have done anything to be at risk. At least that they know of.

Too many just assume that they haven’t done anything to bring risk to them. They accept that they mentioned they are tested and seek the same in a profile or in a conversation. Thus any partners will equally have done so. But that is an assumption, not a fact.

Too many believe that since they had a test a year, or 5 years, ago they are still ok. They assume others are ok for the same reason. They might assume that if they or their partner has been inactive, or is a newbie, that they are ok as well. Again this is not factual just because you think it.

Communication is always something that is so basic we all forget it from time to time. But by being diligent, making it a part of our routine, we all have better experiences in BDSM and Swinging.

By BlkMasterV

As many of the readers are aware, Discretions holds parties from time to time. One of our latest parties had a BDSM focus. Like all our parties, we only cater to the adult alternative lifestyles.

It was a blast. Everyone had a great time. As you will see in the photos many of the guests changed into their favorite Rubber/Latex/Leather gear. Dress to impress does not even begin to cover this.

There were scenes, demonstrations, discussion of toys and techniques. But before any newbies (to the life or to parties) feel like this was just for old hat veterans let me tell you that there were several people new to the lifestyle, and to being at parties.

The location was a private residence. Everyone at the party was 21 or older. Just in case anyone was wondering.

Well the next party will be coming up soon. Anyone want to suggest a theme? And if you want to find out more information about the parties, or other Discretions events (including Swinging and/or BDSM) check out our site – Discretions For You

Thursday June 25th, 2009 saw the end of an extra ordinary life. The life of Michael Jackson was snuffed out by a massive heart attack late Thursday afternoon. Michael Jackson was a most impressive awe inspiring entertainer and a history making personality. From early on in his life at the age of 4 he begain his journy into the world of entertainment to which we the world have all been a whitness to his greatness. The mile stones set into motion that led to the opening of many doors to people of all colors and many walks of life can be attributed to Michael Jackson. This highly talented young man led the way to music that was imaginative and he reached for perfection in his art. Though we will never know what new and wonderful things would have been given to the world had he survived, we can all still wonder.

To his children and family members our prayers and thoughts are with them. Though we as the viewing public would all like to say how shocked we are by the death of Michael Jackson we will never know the depth to which this has effected his children and family.

With a very heavy heart I leave this thought to the readers. Look around you and be inspired, for you will never know what may lead you to greatness. Thank the powers that be for the things given to you and all that you’ve worked hard to achieve. Show your love don’t just say it. Everyone needs a hug so give one, it may inspire greatness.

Welcome one and all.

First let me appoligize for the lateness of my post on this months party. I know it only leaves you all a couple of days to plan on attending but it would be well worth the fuss.

This months party is themed Fetish ware so darn your favorite fetish costume and strut your stuff at our party. Remember its BYOB and snacks are provided. All other information will be provided to you when you RSVP.

Oh and one more thing, do remember to bring your toys incase you decide that you want to spend some time engaging in some serious fun.

Looking forward to seeing you there.